So Now What?

A few weeks ago a “friend” on Facebook made a post asking how could a man love a man. This really threw me because this “friend” is always posting such uplifting messages and passages that speak to being non-judgmental of others and accepting of everyone. So to say I was confused was an understatement. I responded to the post and then the post was immediately deleted. WTF moment for sure.

Homophobia and the bullshit rhetoric that goes with it is not something that I have ever tolerated. I have long been a staunch supporter of the LGBTQ community and have many many family and friends who stand tall as a part of the community. And I am a part of the community.

It was sometime in 2010 that I finally decided to stop hiding my truth, decided to stop living a life I knew was not true to myself. I have known all my life, but it just wasn’t something I felt I could come out with. Call it fear, call it repressed, it just was never the right time to say it.

It wasn’t until 2013 that I started actually dating a woman, in the dark and still in the closet, but kinda out to a few folks. It was nice to have someone to go to the movies and hang out with, but that was all it was because I was still in the closet and she was not so it was never going to work out. It was then I figured out I still was living a lie.

So one day, sitting out in front of the house with my mom I told her. She already knew, or at least had an idea. I just said, “Mom I’m gay,” as I ate my Arby’s. She said yeah and on things went.

I had told some close friends before my mom, but I really didn’t think it mattered or was anyone’s business so I didn’t feel I needed to make some big announcement. Then on Thanksgiving night my aunt called me and asked if there was anything I wanted to tell her. I knew immediately what she was asking. Then she said are you gay? I paused but said yes. She said oh, why am I always the last one to know anything in this family and I cracked up. Told her she was one of the first actually and she told me it didn’t matter she loved me and would always be there if I needed someone to talk to. She has been there for me a lot and I love her so much for it!

And for sure, this post will be the “coming out” moment to some folks because I just never really said anything. Sorry about that. Life will go on and it doesn’t mean I love or care about you any less.

Now a days I am living life free and in the open. I love who I love and that is really all that matters. I can no longer be bound by what anyone else thinks is the “right” way to live or the “right” way to love. Love is love and there is a whole lot of it to go around. And to that “friend” who posted the question…now that you undoubtedly know that you have a gay friend that you went to school with for a whole lot of years, now what?

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